Why You Shouldn't Listen to Your Writer Brain

I want to tell y'all a story that I haven't shared with very many people.

The story starts with a confession: I wasn't super proud of All Laced Up when I finished writing the manuscript. I had attempted some things in it that I wasn't sure I'd pulled off. I'd been in a rush toward the end of writing because I'd missed a deadline (again). My writer brain just knew there were 4,912 things wrong with it. Despite all of that, I sent the manuscript to my editor, because did I mention the deadline thing?

Even though it was part of my three book deal, I kept waiting to get a response that said, "Yeah, sorry, but this is awful and we're not going to publish it." Somehow as time passed, I went from being afraid that was true to being convinced it was true.

In fact, the next e-mail I got was from my production editor, asking a question about the book. I don't usually hear from my production editor until later in the process, which fueled my theory. Poor thing, I thought to myself. No one told her this manuscript isn't being published! So I responded with something along the lines of "Oh, that book is crap and isn't happening anymore. Sorry to waste your time!"

Maybe I didn't use those exact words, but I did basically tell someone who works for my publisher that my book wasn't being published without actually hearing it from anyone at my publisher.

Almost immediately I got an e-mail from my editor saying that the book was, in fact, happening. I hadn't heard from her because she'd been (*gasp*) busy, but she loved the manuscript. The reason I'd heard from the production editor first was because there weren't a ton of edits needed.

Of course, I took my foot out of my mouth, apologized, and pretended to be happy. That's right. Pretended. Because even after all of that, I had my doubts. Did they feel bad that I obviously had some kind of mental break, so they were giving me a pity publication? Had my editor run out of time and she was just saying there weren't many edits needed, when really I was going to put out a subpar book?

Ridiculous thoughts, but again, I believed them.

Writer brain. Impostor syndrome. Whatever you want to call it, it hid me hard with this book.

Regardless, the edits happened, and the book was published.

When the early reviews rolled in, they were good, but I knew there would be terrible ones. My family and friends said they loved it, but come on, they're my family and friends. They have to say that.

But the positive reviews kept rolling in (even from people I'm not related to!). Usually when someone asks how a book is doing, I have no clue, but I could tell this one was doing pretty well.

Now, All Laced Up is my best-selling, most reviewed, and highest rated book, even though it's my newest release and has been out less than a year. It's a finalist for the YARWA Athena Award. It recently earned one of those "Best Seller" ribbons on Amazon.

Is it perfect? Nope. Did it get some terrible reviews? Yep. Is it a work of literary genius? Certainly not.

But is it something I can be proud of? Yes, if and only if I don't listen to my writer brain.

We writers are good at imagining the worst case scenario. It's kind of part of the job description. But when it comes to judging your own writing, shut off that part of your brain. Send the manuscript to beta readers or your editor. Trust that they'll tell the truth.

And if the truth is that it's good?

Believe it.

2016's Good Things

Y'all, we made it. 2016 was rough for a lot of people for a lot of reasons, but we stuck together and survived.

For just a few minutes, I want to ignore all of the nonsense that happened and focus on some of the good things. Because no matter how bad the year, there are still people who make you smile, events that make you cheer, and books that make you cry.

The good things from my 2016?

• I published two books! Mark this one down in history, because I'm not sure it will ever happen again. It was a lot of work, but I'm so proud of Pieces of You and Me and All Laced Up, and so thrilled that I get to continue making my dream of being an author come true!

• I got a new job! Same company, different position. It merges my love of writing with my teaching experience, and I love it!
• I went to NYC again! The 2016 Writer's Digest Conference was a blast. I learned a lot, hung out with some awesome people, and solidified my love for the city.

• I indulged my inner theater junkie. The theater is one of my favorite places, and I spent as much time there as possible! Some of the shows I saw include Curious Incident, The Lion King, Kinky Boots, Fun Home, Newsies, RENT, A Christmas Carol, and The Grinch. (AND I'M SEEING HAMILTON IN 2017 OMG.)

• I also read some amazing books. It was impossible to choose just one "best book of 2016," so I cheated and choose several in different categories. (It's my blog; I get to make the rules, right?)

Best Overall

Phantom Limbs by Paula Garner -- This book made me laugh, made me cry, and made me think about it long after I finished reading.

Best Audiobook

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline -- This was a book that made me want to do nothing but go for long drives and walks so I had a reason to keep listening.

Best Contemporary YA

Written in the Stars by Aisha Saaed -- Unique, beautifully written, un-put-down-able.

Best SciFi YA

Purge by Kat Ellis -- This book was incredibly creatively plotted and well-executed. I adored spending time with these characters in this intense world.

There are so many other books I loved...Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit by Jaye Robin Brown, The Bad Boy Bargain by Kendra Highley, This is Where it Ends by Marieke Nijkamp, Gena/Finn by Hannah Moskowitz and Kat Helgeson...let's just say 2017 has a lot to live up to in terms of good books, but I'm both hopeful for and optimistic about another good book year!

Are we ready for 2017? Maybe. Maybe not. But will there be good things next year? Absolutely. Let's go out and find them. Make them. We got this, y'all. See you in 2017.

5 Unconventional NaNoWriMo Tips

I'm sad that I won't be a NaNoWriMo 2016 participant (more on that at the bottom of the post), but I am still a huge NaNo fan. I attempted and won three Novembers in a row. In fact, my first novel, Where You'll Find Me, started as a NaNo novel way back in 2010.

Even though I'm not participating, I wanted to share some tips that helped me in Novembers past. I'm staying away from the common-but-still-helpful tips (do word sprints, go to local write-ins, make sure the primary component of your bloodstream is coffee, etc.) and going for some unique ones. Hopefully there's something new here that will help you out!

1. Write your words as close to first thing in the morning as possible. Distractions and temptations and emergencies strike all day long. Reach your word count goal before they hit. Yes, this may involve getting up earlier than you need to or are used to. (I'm a regular participant in #5amwritersclub on Twitter if you'd like to join in!) It may involve writing on your lunch break at work. It's worth it. Still have time/motivation/energy to write at the end of the day? Bonus!

2. Have at least one 5K day by November 7. Let's be honest. There's probably going to be a day or two when you just can't write. When life gets in the way or you get stuck. If you write 5K words on at least one day before that happens, you can deal with life or recharge without worrying about your word count! I always use my first NaNo Saturday to get as far ahead as humanly possible.

3. Prepare for the mid-month slump. It happens. Usually right around November 15, when you're solidly in the 20K to 40K word range and wondering why you're doing this stupid thing anyway. Prepare for that slump now by getting yourself a mid-month treat. A new notebook or pen, a special writing snack, wine...whatever it is that you think will break you out of your slump. Get it now and hide it from yourself or give to a friend...a "break in case of emergency" kind of thing.  (And hang in there...I promise words 40K to 50K are much more fun!)

4. Keep a "to revise later" list. So you're writing chapter seven, but think of something you need to change back in chapter two. You probably know by now not to go back and change it right now. However, don't make yourself remember it, either. Chances are you'll forget about it, or you'll remember it, but it will be taking up precious brain space that could be used for coming up with new words and ideas. Instead, make yourself a "to revise later" document or notebook. Add notes to the list and keep writing. You'll know where to start with revisions in December!

5. Have a plan for Thanksgiving (and Gilmore Girls Day). If you're in the US, Thanksgiving is one of those days that can throw your NaNoWriMo progress for a loop. You might think you're going to write, but then your aunt wants to show you all 4,562 pictures form her summer vacation or you fall into a turkey coma. Make a realistic plan now. If you're taking the day off, which days are you going to up your word count to compensate? If you're going to write, when and where? Can you write on an airplane or in the car on the way to see relatives?

Similarly, have a plan for Gilmore Girls Day. (Yes, I'm assuming you're marathoning the Gilmore Girls revival. If you aren't, you should be. The writing is fantastic!) You have six full hours of Netflix to watch (and possibly some Black Friday shopping and another turkey coma to endure). If you write 417 words before each episode, you'll still meet your word count goal! Let the fast-talking girls inspire fast-typing fingers.

So why am I not doing NaNo this year? I'm currently working on the next book in the "Breakaway" series. I started it in mid-October, already have more than 10K words, and can't really take the month of November off from that to work on something else. But I will be with you in spirit and on Twitter, probably writing at least 1,667 words most days, and cheering you on from the sidelines! Happy novel writing!

5 Reasons Why I Love Writing Contemporary YA Romance

Contemporary YA romance. I love reading it, and I adore writing it. Second chance romance, boy next door, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers...bring all of it on!

To celebrate Entangled Teen Crush's epic $0.99 sale, here are five reasons why I love writing contemporary YA romance!

The boys are swoony. Let's be real. You can't get away with using the word "swoony" to describe anyone much older than 21. But contemporary YA romance boys? SWOONY. And so much fun to write.

You can forget adulting (but nothing is "too adult"). I've never written an adult book, but if I did, I imagine it would be pretty boring. Taxes, blah blah blah. Paying bills, blah blah blah. Doing laundry, blah blah blah.

Teens have so many more exciting things to write about! First loves! College choices! Prom!

But I also love that no "adult" topics are off-limits. Romance, sex, heartbreak, drinking, mental health issues, etc. are all things teens deal with. Therefore, they can and should be included, just from a uniquely teenage perspective.

First kisses. Need I say more?

Teenagers. Are. Awesome. And I don't just mean characters. I mean the teens I meet when I'm speaking or doing a signing or hanging out on Twitter. They are sweet and real and make me laugh and sometimes make me cry and always give the best book recommendations. They're infinitely cooler than the grown-ups I hang out with.

The highs are really high (and the lows are really low). There's a quote from the move 17 Again that I absolutely love:

The first part of that quote is so true. Every breakup, every snub from your crush, every time he picks the other girl...it all feels like the end of the world. But while those lows are low, the highs are also high. Every kiss, every sweet text, every touch is euphoric.

Those extremes are the biggest reason why I write YA, and specifically why I write contemporary YA romance. I can't imagine writing anything else.

Looking for a new contemporary YA romance read? Check out PIECES OF YOU AND ME, on sale for $0.99 through 10/2/16!

Can't Pour from an Empty Cup

Recently I started thinking about the expression "You can't pour from an empty cup." Usually this wisdom refers to taking care of yourself before taking care of others, but I realized how much it applies to writing, too.

You know those days when the words don't come was easily as you want them to? When writing is more of a struggle than a pleasure? Check yourself: are you trying to pour from an empty cup? Are you lacking necessary inspiration?

Confession: this has been a kind of an empty-cup summer for me. I've battled low self-esteem and stress over some aspects of the business side of being a writer. I didn't do a good job of seeking out things that would inspire me as a writer. Even though I kept writing and working on various projects, I felt that emptiness. The words didn't pour like they had before, like I knew they could.

This month, I started filling my "writer cup" (which, let's be honest, is probably a coffee mug).

First, I attended Writer's Digest's Annual Conference. I could do an entire blog post about the conference, but for now, let's just say that three days of conference sessions and keynotes and being surrounded by fellow writers who share the same passions and dreams and goals? Pretty cup-filling.

While in NYC, I saw The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time on Broadway. I'm a theater junkie anyway, but seeing a book I love come to life? Awesome.

Curious Incident... Stage

Two days after I got home from NYC, I went to a concert -- the Tour de Compadres with Mat Kearney and NEEDTOBREATHE. This concert had absolutely nothing to do with writing. It didn't make sense that it would fill my writer cup, but it did. You know Lin Manuel Miranda's "love is love is love" speech from the Tony's? In this case, art is art is art, music included. Cup filled.

Tour de Compadres 2016

Raleigh post-sunset

Today, I went to see Newsies for my third and final time before it stops touring. That one does have some writing tie-ins, but I was mostly in it for the dance and music, which will now be stuck in my head for weeks. I also spent some time wandering around Durham's beautiful American Tobacco Campus. It's one of those places I drive by often without really stopping to appreciate it.

American Tobacco Campus 

Newsies!

I never intended for all of these things to happen within the same ten-day period, but they did, and my cup is full. Overflowing. I've worked on edits and beat deadlines. I'm revising a project that has been stuck for a while. I'm blogging for the first time since May. While driving home from work the other day, I had to turn off the radio because it was distracting me from story ideas.

I'm pouring from a full cup and loving every minute of it.

If your writer cup is empty, do something to fill it back up.

Visit an indie bookstore for an author's reading and book signing.

Watch a movie, maybe one that you wouldn't normally pick.

Check out a museum for a couple of hours -- art, science, history, doesn't matter.

Go to a concert or listen to a new song. (Might I suggest one of these?)

Do something Instagram-worthy. (Or Snapchat-worthy? IDK, I'm old.)

Re-read a favorite book that's falling apart from being opened so many times.

Walk around somewhere beautiful.

Then pour your heart from the full cup onto the page.

I can't wait to read what you write.

February Wrap-up!

What happens when you take the shortest month of the year and cram 2,981,569 things into it? March. March happens. Because March is suddenly here! And so is my end-of-month wrap-up!

What I Wrote

February was devoted exclusively to final edits and proofreading of PIECES OF YOU AND ME, coming April 2016 from Entangled Teen Crush! All of the last minute stuff like proofreading the galley and working on the back cover copy and writing acknowledgments takes a lot of time, but it's done! Woohoo! Can't wait for y'all to meet Chase and Rylee in April!

What I Read

I read a lot this month! The combination of audiobooks on car trips and regular books on airplanes added up to six books read in February:

• Four by Veronica Roth
• An Infinite Number of Parallel Universes by Randy Ribay
• Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
• Aimee and the Heartthrob by Ophelia London
• Breathe, Annie, Breathe by Miranda Kenneally
• Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin

My favorite of the month had to be Symptoms of Being Human. I learned so much about people who are gender fluid and absolutely loved Garvin's choices and style in this sometimes painful but always beautiful book. Highly recommend. 

I also adored listening to Breathe, Annie, Breathe. The romance storyline was like eating candy, but it had all this depth and layers hiding underneath. Also in the "like candy" category? Aimee and the Heartthrob. It took me back to my boy band fangirl days, and I loved every minute of it. Can't wait to read the rest of the Backstage Pass series!

Other February Life Stuff

For the day job, I had six business trips in three weeks, so that took up most of my month. When I was home, I finally got to see The Lion King musical!

Also, I shopped at Trader Joes for the first time. Pro tip: never tell the employees at Trader Joes it's your first time there. There's bell ringing and some kind of loud chant involved. Also, red velvet Oreos were back, which are far superior to any other flavor of Oreos.

Hope you had a great February and have a fantastic March!

10 Truths...Publishing Your First Book

I realized last week that my most recent blog post was from 2013. Oops. The topic of said blog post was "my book is going to be published!" Since then, Where You'll Find Me has been published, and I've had ample time to reflect on the experience.

See, I thought I was prepared for publication. It was my dream. I'd worked at it for years. I was beyond excited. But looking back, I wasn't prepared at all. I'm not sure that a dream becoming reality is something you can be prepared for.

Things that I thought would happen did not happen, and things that I never in a million years thought would happen...did. Though everyone's experience is different and YMMV, I have a feeling a lot of what I went through is fairly universal.

Not all of what I'm about to share is bad. Not all of it is good. But all of it is 100% honest and true.

10 Truths about Publishing your First Book

1. The month before pub day kind of sucks. The list of last minute things to do was exciting, but endless: final proofs, blog tours, interviews, giveaways, etc. It left very little time for sleep, which was actually okay, because sleep was replaced by nerves. I'd sit straight up in bed at 1:47 a.m. in a cold sweat, thinking this is a horrible idea this book sucks it's not ready I'm not ready! But, of course, it was too late to back out. That month was also the time ARC reviews started rolling in...

2. The good reviews are better than gold. Wrapped in chocolate. With a puppy. At Disney World. The very first review of my book came through while I was home for the holidays. When I saw it on my phone, I was sitting in the passenger seat of my mom's car. She got all excited and asked me to read it out loud, but I only got half way through before I started crying happy tears. The fact that a complete stranger read and loved something I wrote pretty much made my life.

3. The bad reviews? Suck. I told myself I wouldn't read the negative reviews. But when those low-star reviews showed up, so did my curiosity. So I tried to prepare myself. I thought of everything anyone could hate about the book. I took a deep breath. I clicked a few links. And not only did they hate the 14 things I thought of, but they hated 32 other things that never crossed my mind, which was somehow so much worse!

The good news? Six months later, the sting of the negative reviews has faded, but the giddiness over positive reviews is still strong.

4. Pub day is AWESOME. The never-ending stream of tweets, texts, e-mails, and phone calls is overwhelming in the very best possible way. The writing community is incredibly supportive, and there aren't enough words for the gratitude I felt. Tip: Endless alerts all day = a dead phone battery. Have a charger on hand!

5. People react to the book in unpredictable ways.  One of my devout Catholic retired co-workers absolutely raved about the book, despite the characters' language, drinking, and questionable life choices. A friend who loves everything else she reads really didn't care for my book, and wasn't afraid to tell me so. One of my best friends didn't buy it or attempt to read it, but people like my cousin's cousin's cousin read it and told everyone they know about it. Totally unpredictable.

6. Friends and family are incredibly curious about sales. At least once a day, I was asked how the book was selling. Tip: The answer "I don't know yet" only encourages people to ask again the next time they see you. Go with something vague, like, "Pretty good, thanks for asking!" and then change the subject immediately to something like the weather or baseball.

7. Very cool, surreal things happen. Like the first time I was able so say I was an author, not just a writer. Like every time someone tweeted at me saying they loved the book. Like the time a high school student did her book report on my book and sent me pictures of it (!!!!!):

8. Requests for a sequel are inevitable. Despite the fact that my book was written as a stand-alone, I was constantly asked, "So, are you writing a sequel?" When I said no, the follow-up was always, "But I need to know what happens to Character X!" Tip: Have a ridiculous, sarcastic response prepared. For example: "Well, Character X has the baby, but it turns out to be a vampire who falls in love with Character Y, who really was a wizard the whole time!" Reactions are priceless, and questions about a sequel come to a screeching halt.

9. Publishing one book does not guarantee publication of a second book. This is one of the harshest truths. Just because I published a book did not mean that my agent said, "Yes, let's sub everything you write from here on out!" While on sub, no editor said, "Oh, you already have a book? That makes my decision to publish your next manuscript so much easier!"

Publishing is difficult. Rejection happens. The end.

10. Despite the ups and downs, it really is a dream come true. A couple of weeks ago, my friend and I were walking through the mall when she nudged me and said, "Hey, that's Miracle Face Lotion Guy!" I looked over, and she was right: it was like one of my characters had jumped off the page and into real life. But for just a second, I was confused. I've known Miracle Face Lotion Guy for years. Since my very first Garage Boy draft. But how did she know Miracle Face Lotion Guy? That's right. For a split second, I honestly forgot that my book had been published; that it's out in the world, and people like her have read it. Remembering that fact all over again?

Pretty much the greatest feeling ever.

Where You'll Find Me

So, I haven't blogged in a few months. Oops. But I have a good reason! I was busy editing my debut novel, WHERE YOU'LL FIND ME, coming to you January 7, 2014 from Entangled Teen! (Cue flailing. And also massive panic.)

For those of you who have known me for a while, WHERE YOU'LL FIND ME is the manuscript formerly known as GARAGE BOY. Here is the gorgeous cover and the description:

When Hanley Helton discovers a boy living in her garage, she knows she should kick him out. But Nate is too charming to be dangerous. He just needs a place to get away, which Hanley understands. Her own escape methods (vodka, black hair dye, and pretending the past didn't happen) are more traditional, but who is she to judge?

Nate doesn't tell her why he's in her garage, and she doesn't tell him what she's running from. Soon, Hanley's trading her late-night escapades for all-night conversations and stolen kisses. But when Nate's recognized as the missing teen from the news, Hanley isn't sure which is worse: that she's harboring a fugitive, or that she's in love with one.

This book started back in 2010, when I walked into a dark garage, sneezed, and thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be weird if a stranger in the garage said, 'Bless you?' Wouldn't it be weirder if the stranger was actually living in the garage? And wouldn't it be weirdest if the girl who discovers the stranger didn't kick him out, but fell in love with him instead?"

The answer to those questions was obviously "yes," and the story was born. I absolutely loved writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it!

Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | iTunes

The Four Types of Critiquers

For almost three years, I've been a member of a fabulous YA and MG critique group. During this time, I've given and received innumerable critiques. I've celebrated group members' book deals, publications, agent signings, and writing awards. I've said goodbye to old group members and waved hello to new ones.

The list of lessons I've learned from my critique partners is about two miles long, but near the top of the list is the fact that there are four types of critiquers:

1.  The Nit-Pickers - These are the critiquers who notice the "their" you used when you meant "there." Who identify the fact that a sentence on p. 17 contradicts a sentence on p.2. Who make sure your work shines on a sentence level. Their critiques usually look something like this:



2.  The Big-Picture See-ers - Though these critiquers are often light on the in-line comments and tracked changes, their notes address the "big ticket" concerns: plot, character motivation, pacing, etc. These notes are especially helpful in the early stages of the drafting process, because they can keep you from straying too far down a wrong path, or staying on a decent path when a far superior path is just off to the left. Their critiques might look a little like this:

3.  The Call-You-on-Your-BS-ers - Let's be honest. These critiquers aren't always the easiest to work with. At best, they force you to read their notes from behind your hands. At worst, they make you want to quit writing forever. Difficult as they may be, I suggest you find one of these critiquers and hold on tight. Because guess what? It's better for a CP to call you on BS than an editor. It's better for you to find out what's wrong with your work when you can fix it, not when you've already sent it to your dream agent. Thick skin and all that. Like this:

(That's a relatively small BS-calling. I've ditched entire stories based on CP feedback, and later realized that they were absolutely right!)

4.  The Lovers - Ah, The Lovers. The critiquers who pepper your pages with smiley faces and "LOL"s and excessive punctuation in the form of !!!!!!!!!! The ones who make you keep going. Who boost your spirits. Who make you doubt yourself a little bit less. They typically give you gems like this:

While most critiquers fall into one of these categories, some are a mix. Some are Lovers with certain pages or chapters, and Nit-Pickers elsewhere. Some are Big-Picture See-ers with a hint of Call-You-On-Your-BS.

When possible, I suggest you surround yourself with all four types of critiquers. All are beneficial in different ways and in different phases of the writing process. 

If all four types don't come together naturally for you? Tell your CPs how they can help! Need a little more Big-Picture Seeing and a little less Nit-Picking? Or vice versa? Ask for it! And always, always ask your CPs to call you on your BS. You'll be a better writer for it.

Are you the person doing the critiquing? Think about what your CP needs most of all at his or her stage of the writing process. Not sure? Ask! And don't shy away from calling BS, but also don't be afraid to love. Those pages you're critiquing contain a little piece of your CP's heart and soul, and there's always something to love. 

Always.

Taboo Breaking

Over the past few years, I've discovered that there are certain taboo topics for writers.

Some of those topics are obvious, like querying and being on submission.

But some of those topics are less obvious, like admitting to certain books or authors you enjoy.

I've always been a Nicholas Sparks fan. During high school, too much "Hamlet" and "Macbeth" drove me away from reading entirely. (Talk about taboo topics...yes, I did just admit that I don't like Shakespeare.)

But in college, I picked up "The Notebook" and haven't been without a book since. Nicholas Sparks re-introduced me to the love of reading. I'd never been ashamed of that fact until I saw multiple writers badmouthing his work on multiple occasions. Taboo, at least if you're a fan.

Another taboo topic? The number of years you've been writing or the number of manuscripts you've written.

Taboo breaker alert: I recently finished writing my sixth manuscript. That's right. Six.

There are some writers who are naturally gifted. Who get it right on the first try. I am not one of those writers. I didn't get it right on the first or second or even third try. It was my fourth manuscript that got a book deal. And there's absolutely zero guarantee that my fifth or sixth manuscripts will follow suit.

There are probably a hundred blog posts out there saying you shouldn't talk about your "failed" manuscripts.

(By the way, have you ever told a non-writer how many manuscripts you've written? It usually goes something like this...
Me: "I'm a writer!"
Non-writer: "Really? How many books have you written?"
Me: "Six!"
Non-writer: "Cool! Can I buy them all at Barnes and Noble?"
Me: "That's not how it... It doesn't just... No.")

But you know what?

I'm proud of that number.

It means I'm not a quitter.

It proves I have the capacity to learn and grow. (That first manuscript was really bad, y'all.)

It shows I'm a writer regardless of whether or not I'm an author.

So, yeah. I have a shelf full of signed Nicholas Sparks books, CliffsNotes for "King Lear," and a stack of trunk novels.

Does anyone want to talk religion or politics?

Real Writers Don't Do Math! (Or Do They?)

If you've been around the writing blogosphere, you know there's an ongoing debate regarding when you can be considered a Real Writer. (When you're published! When you sell x copies! When you get an agent! When you write! When the wind is blowing from the north and the day of the month is odd, but only if it's not raining!)

Ambiguous much?

Being a math-minded person, I'm convinced there must be a formula to calculate whether someone is a Real Writer or not. So, if x is the number of words you write and y is the number of cups of coffee you drink and z is the square root of pi multiplied by the number of query rejections you've received, and the product of x, y, and z is equal to the derivative of...

Um, yeah. I like math, but not enough to remember calculus.

Scratch the formula idea.

But I'm still convinced that math will not fail me. There must be a way. Some kind of system in which melding numbers and words creates the definitive Real Writer distinction.

Something like WRITER POINTS.

You know, the points you gain when you do writerly things. And the points you lose when you do decidedly non-writerly things.

Something like this:

WRITER POINTS*
Activity	Points
Writing	100 points for every 500 words
Revising/Editing	100 points for every 10 pages
Wearing clothes that cannot double as pajamas	– 20 points
Having a cat	400 points
Having multiple cats	4000 points
Drinking a cup of coffee or tea	10 points per cup
Having a day job	– 200 points
Having multiple day jobs	– 2000 points
Brushing your teeth before noon	– 50 points
Not leaving the house for a full day	300 points
Sending out a query letter	1000 points
Receiving a rejection	5000 points
Having a conversation with someone who is not one of your characters	– 40 points
Watching “Honey Boo Boo”	– 300 points per episode
Making an entire meal out of Skittles/Starburst/jelly beans	50 points
Showering	– 10 points
Getting an agent/book deal	3000 points

*Not an exhaustive list.

So, what's the magic number? When are you a Real Writer? When you hit 10K points? 50K points? Any time your Writer Points balance is greater than zero?

Well...that's something you have to decide for yourself.

Because ultimately, being a Real Writer is more about how you feel than about anyone or anything else, including math. It's about writing and living the life you love and defining success the way you want to define it and then writing some more.

That's it.

But hey, if you hit a million points, let me know.

I'll probably send you a gold star.

(And remind you that showering every once in a while is a good thing.)

5 a.m. Words

Today I realized a somewhat crazy statistic: at least 60% of my WIP has been written between the hours of 5 a.m. and 7 a.m. That's right. Those hours are not like the tooth fairy. They actually do exist.

Though I am what most people would call a "morning person," I don't enjoy getting up ridiculously early. On a typical weekday, my alarm goes off at 4:36 a.m. The process then goes something like this:

1. Contemplate throwing alarm clock out window (realize this would take too much energy)
2. Lie in bed, listening to just one song (hate radio stations who play "Apple Bottom Jeans" at 4:36 a.m.)
3. Lie in bed, listening to just one more song (seriously, this time)
4. Force self out of bed and into the shower (tripping over the cat is optional, but likely)
5. Shower (errors may include stepping into shower while still wearing at least one article of clothing, using body wash instead of conditioner, etc.)
6. Get dressed (chances of clothes matching: slim to none)
7. Gulp coffee (burn mouth)
8. Write

So why do I put myself through all of that? Why don't I just write in the evening? Simple. Because when I try to write in the evening, it goes something like this: 

I'll just check Pinterest real quick before writing. Ooo, that looks like a fun DIY project. But I would need lumber. Where does one buy lumber? A hardware store? I should search for the nearest hardware store. Why are they called hardware stores anyway? Twitter will know. I'll ask Twitter. Oh, look! 3 people tweeted. Oh, look! 4 more people tweeted. Oh, look! 1 more person tweeted. Wait, what was I doing? Pinterest. Right. That recipe looks delicious....

Before I know it, the day is gone and my word count is 0.

But if I'm going to get out of bed 2 hours before I need to? I'm not going to waste time on Pinterest. I'm not going to let time pass with nothing to show for it. I'm going to work. As a result, my morning word counts are typically high.

Plus, there's something magical about writing while it's dark and the rest of the world is asleep. It's quiet and calm in a way that doesn't exist the rest of the day.

I know what you're going to say. But Erin, I can't get up that early. My "writing" would look like hgdffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff because I'd end up doing this:

I get it. For you, my dear keyboard sleeper, here are some 5 a.m. writing tips:

• Check in on Twitter with #5amwritersclub. There's an entire group of supportive people who will write with you. For me, the accountability and camaraderie are huge.
• Coffee. Tea. Diet Coke. Caffeine. 'Nuff said.
• Find a friend. Once a week, I try to meet up with one or two of my local writing friends. We're usually at the coffee shop by 6:30. It's my favorite morning of the week.
• Invest in one of those alarm clocks that runs away from you.
• Remember, this isn't time that you have to write. This is time that you get to write. Attitude is everything.

Try it for a week. Or even a day. You might like it.

And while you're at it, pass the coffee.

Happy Character Syndrome

Confession: I once wrote an entire novel without a single bit of conflict. That's right. 50,000+ words. Zero conflict.

It was the first novel I ever attempted, and it was horrific. Sure, my main character had a goal. There were things she needed to do to reach said goal. And my naive, first-novel-writing-self thought that was all I needed to create this thing called plot.

Yeah.

Wrong.

When I finished writing and revising the manuscript, I searched for beta readers on the NaNoWriMo forums. A kind, gracious, more-experienced writer said, "I love this premise! I'll beta read for you."

So with high hopes and a gratitude-filled e-mail, I sent my first manuscript out into the world.

The response was honest and harsh. "Everyone is generally nice to your main character," my beta reader said. "There's nothing to stop her from reaching her goal. I never doubted that she would make it, so I had no reason to keep reading."

As I looked back over the manuscript I had poured my time, my energy, myself into, I realized she was right.

I suffered from Happy Character Syndrome.

I desperately wanted my characters to be happy and would stop at nothing to make it so, up to and including removing all obstacles that stood in their way.

Happy Character Syndrome is a problem for two huge reasons:

1. It's not realistic. Mean people exist. Bad things happen. Life is rough. Get a helmet.

2. Happy characters make for really boring reading. Check out your bookshelf. There's a lot of misery on those pages.

Fast forward to today, when the novel I'm working on is not my first (or second, or third, or...) novel. I still suffer from HCS. I'm putting a couple of characters through the ringer with this one, and I tear up a little just thinking about it.

There are mean people. There are obstacles. There are twists and turns. There's conflict.

And even when it's hard to write, it's a good thing.

I'm not saying that none of my novels are ever going to have a happy ending. I love happy endings. I love when a story is tied up with a neat little bow, and I'm smiling as I place the book back on my shelf.

But the payoff for that neat-little-bow ending is a lot greater when the characters had to go through something to get there. And if the edges of the bow are a little frayed as a result? That's life.

To the beta reader who helped diagnose my Happy Character Syndrome: I can't thank you enough.